Wednesday, November 26, 2008

thinly veiled insults

Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.


Why don't you just open your mind and shut your mouth, both are empty anyway.


You've got more chins than a Chinese phone book!


Don't you have a terribly empty feeling - in your skull?


Go ahead, tell them everything you know. It'll only take 10 seconds.


If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean


Don't let your mind wander. It's way to small to be outside by itself!


Hmm...I don't know what your problem is...but I'm going to bet it's really hard to pronounce...


Oh I'm sorry, how many times did your parents drop you when you were a baby?


Sorry I can't think of an insult stupid enough for you


Your trailer park called -- their trash is missing.


Did you have a big bowl of stupid flakes for breakfast?


You're such an airhead, whenever you sneeze you lose IQ points.


Your garden club called there ho is missing.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

One fry short of a Happy Meal.


You are not the brightest candle in the chandelier.


You are not the brightest color in the crayon box.


Two plums short of a fruit pie.


One prescription shy of a full medicine cabinet.


One burrito shy of a combo plate.


Three ants shy of a picnic.


One cow shy of a full barn.


A couple drops shy of a full glass.


One shirt shy of a full closet.


One horse shy of a herd.


One rose shy of a bouquet.


You are dumber than a box of rocks.


One song shy of a CD.


One inch shy of a foot.


One panting short of an art gallery.


One dog short of a kennel.


One meatball shy of a plate of spaghetti.


One band aid shy of a first aid kit.


A couple quarts short of an oil change.


One sandwich short of a picnic.


You are a black and white mind, working on a color coded problem.


A couple slats short of a full roof.


A cup and saucer short of a place setting.


You are a deadbolt with a broken cylinder.


You are three pieces short of a jigsaw puzzle.


A few cups shy of a tea service.


Brownie shy of a bake sale.


One tree shy of a forest.


One pyramid shy of Egypt.


One brick short of a load.


A few bees short of a hive.


He's/She 's one egg roll short of a Pu Pu platter.


He/She redefined the term "third grader".


Can some one check the air pressure in her head?


The only thing thay keeps it from going in one ear and out the other is the "for rent" sign in the middle.


He/She could not find his/her butt with both hands if it had a bell on it.


his wheel is spinning, but the hamster is dead.


some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he/she just gargled.


His/Her antenna does not pick up all the channels.


He/She is one coffee bean short of a latte.


You are as nutty as a fruit cake.


The lights are on but nobodies home.


He's/She's not the sharpest knife in the drawer.


You are one peanut short of a snickers.


He/She has a hole on his/her bag of marbles.


I think his/her screen is missing a few pixels.


His/Her cord does not reach the outlet.


He/She is a few channels short of cable.


If clues were shoes he would be barefoot.


He has verbal diarrhea and mental constipation.


You are about as sharp as a marble.


You are a few clowns short of a circus.


Not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree.


He/She has only one oar in the water.


Were you an experiment in artificial stupidity?


You are dumber than a bag of hair.


You are a few peas short of a casserole.


He/She does not have all His/Her cornflakes in one box.


You are one fruit loop shy of a full bowl.


A few feathers short of a whole duck.


The cheese slid off the cracker.


Did you fall of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down?


The elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.


Did you forget to pay your brain bill?


You are missing a few buttons on your remote control.


Look proof that evolution can go in reverse.


The receiver is off the hook.


24 cents short of a quarter.


Did your mom drop you on your head when you were a baby?


One lime short of a Margarita


all foam no beer.


You could not pour water out of a boot with the instructions on the heal.


His belt don't go threw all the loops.


If she had another brain it would be lonely.


He has no grain in his silo.


His Slinky's kinked.


To much yardage between the goal posts.


One petal shy of a flower.


He/She is duller than a butter knife.


The gate is down, the lights are flashing, but the train is not coming.


In the pin ball game of life her flippers were a little far a part.


One ant shy of a colony.


Brilliant as a burned out light bulb.


His book is full of a blank pages.


His Christmas tree does not have an angel on top.


The cornbread did not get baked.


His dipstick does not quite hit the oil.


He is driving with the engine off.


He is from the shallow end of the gene pool.


He/She has an IQ of 2. it takes 3 to grunt.


Having a blond moment?


If you looked up "stupid" in the dictionary you would see your picture.


One movie shy of an Oscar.


You are not the sharpest tool in the shed.


He/She donated his body for science before he was done using it.


He/She had a room temp IQ.


He/She has a photo graphic memory with the lens cover on.